INTERVIEW TO JOELLEN NOTTE, SEX WRITER AND MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE!
I feel lucky to be able to interview JoEllen Notte.
This amazing writer is about to release her first book.
I love that she is the first one in this blog, because as many of you know before entering porn I worked in the social area, so I will use this space to find texts, people, books, and express everything that can help us understand a little more our sexuality. Because sexuality is present all life and is part of the creative energy of being.
Without further ado, I present to you this great woman who has researched deeply into the subject of depression and how it affects sexuality.
Taboo subject or not, in her book I am sure you will find some answers.
Thank you very much for collaborating with me and I wish you much success, may your words reach all those people who need them!
INTERVIEW
B : tell us about yourself a little..
I am a writer, speaker, and accidental mental health advocate. I became a sex writer after years of career and general life fumbling led to a big "Seriously, what do I want to do with my life?" moment and I never expected mental health to be a topic I spoke about. That all changed when the depression I thought I shook in my 20s came back and I realized that it was not something I could ignore. I started talking about it and after a while it came to be the topic I was most known for and that really shaped my work. At my site, The Redhead Bedhead, I say I talk about "Sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken"
B: Please tell us about the book.
My book, The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having, is a practical exploration of how to navigate sex and relationships while coping with depression. My goal is to help readers understand how sexual function is affected by depression and what keeps us from effectively addressing it. The book is heavily informed the by my years of research, including surveys of over 1,000 people and interviews with over 200. I believe it is the first book of its kind. With practical tips and real-life examples, this is both a guidebook for people with depression and the people who love them, as well as a reference tool for mental health professionals.
B: How much time did you need to write it?
It took me 5 years to write this book. There are a couple of reasons it took that long: First off, I had no idea what I was doing! I didn't get a publisher and then write it (which, frankly, is a better way to do things), I wrote it and then found a publisher. So, when I started, I just kind of set out to write a book with no experience doing that and no real guidance. Secondly, I conducted my own research including all the surveys and interviews and, once again, I really had no idea what I was doing at first. So I learned as I went and that led to me interviewing for 3 years. Finally, I cope with depression and chronic illness so there were many times when I had to put the project aside to deal with my own health stuff.
B: What was the reason to start writing about it?
I started writing this book because I noticed that whenever I talked about the impact depression can have on sexual function I would hear from a lot of people who were dealing with depression and felt like no one was talking about it. Additionally, the experience of trying to find a book for my partner to read to help him understand my depression made me wish for something different than what had previously been written, so I wrote it.
B: What part of the book do you think has touched you the most personally?
For me, it was the content about navigating relationships while coping with depression. I expected to talk about the sex stuff but the general relationship health stuff kind of snuck up on me. It was stuff I figured out over the years and for me personally, it has been life-changing.
B: Is this your first book? If not, tell us about the others as well.
This is my first book! I was (and still am!) proud to contribute an essay to 2017's Ask: Building Consent Culture but this is the first book that is all me.
B: Before you write, what did you do?
After college I spent years working in theatre in NYC (I was a director!) and after that I spent a couple of years teaching yoga and exercise classes. Honestly, I think I was mostly just trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing with my life. I started my site when I was 33.
B: Is there anything special you want to tell us?
You get to be where you are! A lot of us are beating ourselves up because we haven't achieved what we want to achieve or because we're struggling, or we think we're not having enough sex (or too much sex!) and I firmly believe the world would be a better place if we stopped beating ourselves up so much and understood that it's a journey and we get to be where we are when we are there. That said, I struggle with all of that too. We are works in progress.
B:Do you have any person or book or reference you can give us about this topic that you think we should know about?
I always tell people that if they are going to read my book, they should probably also read Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are. I think everyone can benefit from the information contained in that book and I think reading it puts folks in an even better position to understand and implement a lot of what I talk about in The Monster Under the Bed.
B: Please tell us where to find your book, and where we can follow you.
My book, The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having, will be released on March 27, 2020 and is currently available for pre-order in paperback, ebook, and audiobook from a whole bunch of places! You can find the list on my site at redheadbedhead.com/monster.
JoEllen Notte
Writer | Speaker | Mental Health Advocate
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